Wanderlust and the mid path

As a family bitten by the travel bug, we have always needed a trip every now and then, to keep us going. Sometimes, all we need is a nature fix - lush green hills, pristine water bodies and total quiet with only the sounds of birds for company.Many other times,we feel like we want to see some part of this diverse country that is totally different from where we live, in terms of language, cuisine, sights, sounds and smells.

After all, every place has a very distinct atmosphere, don't you think? I love the clean roads and slow pace of Mysore, the red soil and lush green of any place in Kerala, the sizzling heat and home air in Tamil Nadu and the hazy, chilly air and colours of Bengaluru.

 In several trips, we do a combination of both kinds- like Dharamshala and Amritsar - a shot of greenery and a vibrant city. My husband has a modus operandi to planning these trips. Once we zero in on a city we want to see, he'd look up the nearest hill station or vice versa. He is the kind who usually wants a slice of everything. If they ever made a pizza with each of the slices being of different flavours, that would be his regular!

I, on the other hand, like to dive deep into everything, wallow in it for a good while and slowly retreat out of it. I want my holidays to have a slow pace. One full day just at the resort, savouring the fact that everything is being done for us and I can completely relax without a to do list in my mind. Another one or two days to look around a few places - water body, view point, temple, bazaar and a little local cuisine and I am totally satisfied. I do not require every minute of the day to be squeezed into an itinerary or see every one of the 'must see' spots.

When we had just gotten married, we both had travel as a common liking but how we wanted it done was poles apart. While I wanted to just take in and experience the all round flavour of any place we visited, the husband would look up a list of things to do and consider every moment spent indoors as a waste of time that could have otherwise been spent visiting somewhere.

Here is an anecdote that puts it all in a nutshell. At Munnar, we had just done an early morning scenic trek up a tea estate and come back spent and hungry. After a heavy and yummy breakfast, all I wanted to do was to go back and rest a bit, while gazing at the imposing mountain view from our cottage door with a cup of tea. While I was settling down with chai, he was buzzing over the phone talking to the people at the reception and a while later, came up to me and asked 'Are you not going to come for the jeep ride to top point'? All I could do was roll my eyes :) My take was, the view from this door is amazing and am happy right now to just take it in rather than rushing to the next place in the list.

Over the years, both of us toned down a bit from the two extremes. While I saw the merit in going out and doing stuff, he also began to appreciate the concept of leisure in a holiday and the idea of 'just being' somewhere. So having managed to almost reach the mid point even if not exactly, things have become lot more smoother now.

Back in those days, when we had not settled in for this win-win, I would always throw up my hands at some point and say that I was totally done for the day or he would sit and sulk because we weren't doing enough activities. This happens even now but very occasionally.  The perfect balance is and always will be elusive but what is life without a few outliers?! :)

A memorable short story from childhood

The reading bug had caught me quite early during my childhood. It started somewhere with seeing dad read voraciously and the bi-monthly trips to the library with him. Sis had started reading too, so I naturally followed suit.

While I still remember all the Enid Blytons that I devoured for the fanciful English world that it portrayed and Nancy Drews that I enjoyed for the thrilling mystery elements, the first short story that I appreciated for its literary value stands out in my mind. And I think of it as something like having watched a caterpillar metamorphosize into a butterfly - that my mind had suddenly began appreciating the art of story telling apart from enjoying the story itself

The story that brought about this landmark change is 'Games at Twilight' by Anitha Desai. It featured in our English Literature Reader in middle school and is the story of how a little boy (Ravi)takes a game of hide and seek a bit too seriously and hides in a very unlikely and hard to discover place, his heart racing with excitement with the surety of a win. However, once everyone else has been 'found' , the other kids move on to other games, completely forgetting about Ravi. After a good deal of time elapse, Ravi finally emerges from his hiding place, loudly demanding his victory, only to see that the other kids have moved on from the game and can barely comprehend his demands. The story ends with how Ravi and others around him react to this debacle.

I still remember being fascinated by how the author had captured the typical summer afternoon games of a boisterous group of little children, followed by the evening setting and activities of the community. The best part was the author's poignant description of what goes through Ravi's mind, how he behaves and feels at the end. Rage, disappointment, the unfairness meted out to him - the reader can completely feel and empathize with it all!

I remember coming back home from school and discussing it with my sister and how she totally agreed that the story was indeed a masterpiece.

Post the unfolding of this eventful story in my life, there was no looking back. Everything I read took on a new and much more enjoyable flavor. I had learnt to appreciate the written word and get lost in the writings of various authors, not just for the story that they had to tell but for their fine craft of writing itself. It became another art form that I began to enjoy. I dabbled in it much later, in the form of this blog which led to the discovery of yet another therapeutic exercise :)

Among all the dreams and hopes that I have for my child, my fondest one is to see him curl up with a book and forget the world. He cannot read by himself as yet and we are still in the 'amma reads aloud' Pepper and Bruno series. But the day he settles down to immerse himself into a book would be a red letter day for his crazy mommy who will remember it for ever, just like she remembered the metomorphic short story from years and years ago :)

Pursuing a passion in your 30's

While we are kids or young adults, we have the luxury of time and choice. The 'must do' chores in a day are way lesser. Of course there would be school, college or work that we must devote about 6-9 hours to. But chunks of 'free time' that is totally in our control is much more in that stage of life.

I still remember my Undergrad days. College would get over at 1:00 PM and I would be home by 1:45 PM! And the rest of the day was totally mine. Parents were there to provide for and manage the household. Barring my college work and keeping my things in order, I did not have to do much around the house. I used to read a lot, listen to music and attend concerts. How easy it was all back then!

Now, with a young child to care for, a house to keep and meals to cook, the predictable free time is near zero or pitifully small. My kid is away at school for about 5 hours a day. That usually leaves an effective 2 hours for myself. And to spend that in a productive manner, I need all the determination that I can summon! Stephen Covey's concept of  how urgent matters always take over the important ones is so so true at this stage!

In his book 'First things First', he talks about how most humans are addicted to urgency since it gives them a sense of accomplishment very easily. One can say that it is like a drug that makes you hallucinate productive use of time. My everyday chores are far easier to do than pursing my long term goals. Moreover, the daily chores pile up and threaten my peaceful existence if not done. A house not kept in order or lunch not being ready when my kid gets home will punish me then and there. Not keeping to my music practice schedule would do none of that as of now. Maybe when am old and my voice does not listen to my command, the regret would sweep all over me. But for now I can still get on.

I just digressed to a subtopic. But I have to come to the passion in question - Music.

I have had a lot of drilling in carnatic music since childhood. My grandfather was a performing violinist who used to accompany great doyens like Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer in concerts. And he gave his all to train his granddaughters - my sister and I, into this divine art form. Blessed with good voices that sounded like one in unison, we have given over 50 concerts right from the age of 8 and 12. Added to that was our school which gave a lot of importance to the performing arts. Having been a part of the school music team right from class 4, it was years of profound learning, stage performances, encouragement, prizes and all round enrichment.

All this has gone a long way to make me the reasonably seasoned singer and erudite listener that I am today. But I still regret not having put more work into my music in my school and college days.

I am fortunately married to someone who is far more devoted to music and whose sincerity in pursuing it far exceeds mine. We regularly attend concerts with kid in tow and learn from the same teacher. My husband is the main reason for my continuing to toil with music, for toil is what the art demands from anyone who wants to pursue it seriously. He inspires me with his devoted efforts and regularity in practice.

Hmm .. I actually started writing this post as one of regret, where I was going to say how difficult it is to pursue a passion at this stage of life. But what poured forth through my fingers have totally changed my perspective. Yes, I should have put in a lot more effort in my childhood and single status days. But I have indeed put in quite a bit which is why I am where I am now. And with music continuing to occupy a prime place in my life, the road is pretty much still traversable!

There are deterrents of course. There is my own tardiness but that is totally in my hands to win over. There is the hugely complex nature of the art form itself but years of training has made it tangible for me. There is the humdrum of everyday life but who does not have that? People who achieve in life are not recluses who live by themselves tending to just basic needs. Majority emerge from the humdrum and still pursue what they love and achieve too!

Let's see. I still have time, a very learned teacher and an encouraging environment on my side. Say, 10 years from now, while am reading my old posts and chance upon this one, I want to smile and think 'yes, I did it'! :)