Friday, 3 August 2012

‘The Event’ versus ‘The Aftermath’


This is a question that needs to be pondered in every human mind. Which is more important? The event or its aftermath? Sometimes we are so obsessed with certain events that we do not sit back and think of the consequences. History abounds with wars. But at the end of each, when the devastating consequences come to light, every one including the initiator is left wondering why it was fought in the first place. As a race, we seem to be obsessed with ‘events’. We want certain things to simply happen. Higher Studies, getting a job, marriage, children, moving to a foreign land.. Do we really take the time to think if we are taking a wise decision in each case?

More often than not, these decisions are a result of either herd mentality or societal pressures. Everyone is doing an MBA, so I have to do it too. Everyone is into IT. So let me jump in too. Marriage is a razor that hangs above the head of every youngster along with a sand clock timer. Tell me, if I make a wrong choice and end up having a miserable or unhappy or discontent life, will the fact that the ‘event’ has happened still make everyone happy? If I land up in a job that kills me with pressure or where I have to do something I completely detest, the fact that I do hold a job is no consolation.

So why are we so obsessed with only the events with little or no thought to the aftermath. Why do we rave for them to happen? We take an entire day to walk into so many shops to buy a dress that we like. We do endless research when we want to buy an expensive gadget. We wait for months if a product we want is out of stock. When so much of patience and thought can go into these trivial things in life, then how much of forethought should go into our life deciding moves!!   

There are certain aspects of life which literally hold the key to our happiness. These are steps which once taken cannot be retracted. They can make or mar your life. These are often those decisions that have to be taken while we are at those proverbial crossroads.Which stream of education to choose, which career path to take, the job that pays more or the job that makes you happy, choice of life partner, entry into parenthood .. When we do encounter them, let us think and take decisions that will truly make us happy. We must not hurry into one of the roads because the audience to our lives are watching like a hawk or because someone standing behind is prodding us to move forward. The aftermath is much more important than the event. Your designation with XYZ company is in no way a return for an intolerable boss who makes life miserable. A marital status will in no way compensate for an incompatible partner.   

Your mind and heart will tell you when to move ahead and most importantly which road to take. Now that should be the only reason for you to take that step forward. That is the only trigger that justifies the event. And I can vouch that the aftermath in these cases will turn out to be in your favour. Only you know what can truly make you happy. Do not allow anyone to dictate that to you in life. No one can tell you what ‘should’ make you happy, for no one can feel from inside you!! That is something only you can do. Nothing in the world is worth making these decisions if they are not heartfelt - neither society nor people around nor socially acceptable norms.   

10 comments:

  1. My husband once told me something which I can never forget. "There are no good or bad decisions. The outcome of those decisions is what dictates whether the decision was good or bad."
    Most of us 'don't get this. Unfortunately as you pointed out societal and peer pressure is huge in Indian society.
    Good post, aarthy. And very well-written. Do I credit PSBB for drilling you in this? :)

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    1. Thanks Aparna!!
      That is so true .. The outcome is what determines whether decisions are good or bad. The most profound truths of life are actually very simple and are evident in every walk of life. But sadly and mysteriously, we seldom allow them to sink into us.
      And yes. If there are any note worthy traits in me, PSBB is very much behind them!! :)

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  2. Well-said, Aarthy! Many simply do not invest much thought or time before taking life-altering decisions..it's mostly about joining the bandwagon and the fear of missing the bus.

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    1. Ha Ha .. Correct Uma .. Fear of missing the bus it is :)
      But that's a funny fear isn't it? Considering the fact that everything that is meant for us will come to us, no matter what :)

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  3. didn't get a post update for this :-0

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    1. Lets take it out on blogger!!
      But am so glad you checked out my space nevertheless .. Thanks :)

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  4. brilliant post! 'do what you think is best for you' :) not what is expected by others!

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    1. Thanks Ash!
      So happy to see you here .. Welcome to this space :)

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  5. "There is no right or wrong. There are only consequences."
    - Nietzsche

    I agree...Do you?

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    1. Hey Dhivya! Long time ..
      Absolutely correct .. We should take the time to think and decide if we are ready to accept the consequences .. If it is a wholeherted yes, then the action is justified!

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